Disagree =/= Disrespect

As the world, and America in particular, diversifies by the second, it becomes more and more likely that we will cross paths with people who have opinions, customs, behaviors, and belief systems which we disagree with. With well over 7 billion humans and only one Earth, it's bound to happen. There is a certain beauty to coexisting with people who have conflicting or even contrasting ideals. It shows that humanity has a certain capacity for understanding and tolerance. However, unfortunately, a wave (or perhaps just an unveiling) of bigotry and xenophobia has shown people in the world, and Americans in particular, forgetting the principles of acceptance and tolerance. Instead of appreciating all of the differences that make mankind significant, understanding is abandoned in a pointless but frantic effort to defend and spread one's own ideals. Although this is often beneficial in terms of assimilation or cultural exchange, today more than ever this defense and projection of beliefs is done in way that is disrespectful, or in a manner that makes it apparent that these beliefs were bred in either hate or fear.

It is natural, and admiral even, to want to defend your own ideals. It is naive, and foolish even,  to expect others not to defend their own just as passionately. These conversations are valuable in the way that they allow us to articulate our beliefs and share ideas. Sometimes, we are even able to share our perspective in a way which causes one to change their mind. However, often this does not happen, and at a certain point we must agree to disagree. When this happens we sometimes leave the conversation with discomfort, denial, disbelief, or even disgust.  But what's important is that we never leave them with disrespectful comments or behaviors.

The truth is, you're not going to get through to everyone. It's impossible, and that's okay. But no one is any better or worse than you are for having a differing opinion. We must be careful to watch our words and mannerisms in an effort to not condemn or judge anyone for simply thinking differently than we do. What's important is that we do not hold anyone else to our own standards; that we understand that no one is obligated to abide by our own moral code.

And so instead of throwing around insults or labels or slurs or offense when we come across those who live differently than we do, we should begin to embrace differences. There is always something to be learned in these conversations, either about the other side or about ourselves. At the end of the day--or conversation, rather--it is important that we appreciate the social, socioeconomic, religious, political, cultural, etc. variety that composes humanity.

I am definitely guilty of disrespecting people who disagreed with something I was passionate about or believed deeply. It is an automatic, defensive mechanism that I have had to unlearn and constantly keep in check. I still have a lot of work to do, and I encourage all others to work as well. No one is ever obligated to agree, and no one is ever entitled to disrespect.

Webster Racism: How Much Can Definitions Actually Define?

"If I look up “carrot” in the dictionary, most people will acknowledge I do not know all there is to know about carrots and if I truly want to understand carrots, I should probably pick up a horticultural text book. We know that legal and medical terms are going to be, at best, simplistically represented and know we need to find a lawyer or a doctor if we want to know more. Anyone deciding to base their argument on, say, a philosophical concept or term using the dictionary is going to be laughed at at best, or automatically lose whatever argument they’re trying to make at least. Yet the minute we move into a social justice framework, the ultimate authority changes. We don’t need lived experience, we don’t need experts who have examined centuries of social disparities and discrimination, we don’t need societal context. We don’t need sociology or history – no, we have THE DICTIONARY! That ultimate tome of oracular insight, the last word on any debate!"

This excerpt from the social commentary blog, Womanist Musings, has beautifully articulated my frustrations with the dictionary. Too often, usually in discussions with uncomfortable white people, I have had the dictionary pulled out on me and some lofty definition of racism or sexism read to me. These definitions are usually correct, yes. But they offer no context. Racism and sexism and other -isms are reduced down from catastrophic, institutional principles to a general, euphemistic meaning which was intended to be used to simply define a word; not to explain it and not to apply it.  As the Womanist Musings post elaborated, "the dictionary is not an ultimate authority. It’s a brief answer, a vague idea, as concise as it can be to get the idea across."

There are certain things about words, racism in particular, the dictionary just can't tell you. It won't mention slavery, economic apartheid, Jim Crow, the Black Panther Party, colorism, segregation, assassinations, the KKK, lynchings, Adolf Hitler, church bombings, Trayvon Martin, mass incarceration, the Dred Scott case, COINTELPRO, gentrification, white supremacy, etc., etc., etc.

So if you want to talk to me about how racism doesn't exist anymore, or how reverse racism is real, or how racism exists only in the backwoods of Alabama and not in every American institution, please have a statement that does not  depend on the two sentences found beside the word.

Webster racism doesn't even scratch the surface, let alone hold any standing as a valid argument. 

Moodboard (November 2015)

Another month, another moodboard. Crazy to think it's November already. At least now I can wear high-neck tops and drink hot beverages without people questioning my sanity. Happy Novembering.

Art enthusiasts will appreciate this. It may be my first tattoo.

Her skin. Her hair. Her demeanor.

To live by.

Two works of art.

My third favorite set of sisters. After only my sister and me, and Bey and Solange.

Design inspiration.

Black lives matter, in print.

Solange Knowles grieves the nine lives lost at the Charleston AME church shooting.

This man is brilliance unappreciated.

Her skin. Her hair. Her demeanor. Part II.

Cover/editorial art inspiration. Also, makes me want to do some investigative journalism.

Stripes and shadows.

The complexities of black artistry.

"Most of my heroes don't appear on no stamps."

Drake on W Magazine's art issue cover.

All images found on Tumblr & Pinterest.